Wow it has been a hectic month.
Well, exam month of course. It's kinda normal. But to be honest, I am still don't realize that I am going to sit for a big exam less than two months time. That is because my Mr. Shiva always said "What's with the straight A's man?! You must have no life!" So, since then I don't bother getting an A for any of the subjects but neither am I wanted to fail tho. I've got my own lines that I would ever hold with upon my life, that is "It's never too late to learn" and "It's Payback Time!". My teacher even told us to always bear in mind that "You all are becoming a top scorer!" So, imma have 3 lines to push myself to success. Unfortunately, I've changed. I never wanted to study. Didn't feel like I have to. I was wasting my time this whole months. The recent trial exam for me was like 'I don't give a damn' . You know what, I am studying for myself, my knowledge. Not for those st*pid exams!
When I was in sejarah kintet class this evening, he remind us to study. He asked us, "Did you committed on whatever you're doing?" and we just like "Noooo..." even I was saying NO. Then he asked again, "Did you care for yourself?" and we were like "Yeah . ." and he was just "YOU'RE LYING!" . All of us were shocked. He said that if we do care for ourselves, why don't we get committed towards everything we did? "You don't even studying" . He was not scolding , of course. He's too adorable to scold us. He knew us well and he knew we didn't get used to studying. Know what, that time only I realize that I had not being committed for whatever I did before. How useless I am, when I think back. I feel like crying and I am regret for wasting my precious time. I never abandon my studies of course but I was not serious about it.
I need my old self, really. I've changed a lot. And I sleep a lot too. That's not good at all.
How I miss my old self! Oh god.
I do not want to plan anything for my future. Because I did that before and none of them comes true. It was just a dream.
I am now getting obsessed towards Justin Bieber. I don't know what is happening to me. I kept saying to myself, "I'm not a belieber , no I am not." but here I am. Listening to his songs, watching every videos of him. Seriously I don't understand what is happening. I turned out to be like this since I watched his movie, Never Say Never. Same goes to Harry Potter. ugh. I don't care. He is just too adorable for me to ignore him :) I currently adored his song, Down to Earth and I play it on shuffle everyday. Wow.
9 down, 1 more to go and that would be accounts paper on next Friday. I cannot wait for the moment when exam gonna be over. Hehe. I think that's all for now. Good luck in whatever you do. I love you, Yes you ! <3 nbsp="nbsp" p="p">
Love,
Ika Mgsband
// currently happy with my life . Miss you much Tuan A //
